Taking a weekly look at all the issues important to ladies and gays... and treating them with much less respect than they deserve. Can you handle it?
Posts tagged "comedy podcast"
The last moment of the heat wave exposed Erin to a man with a masturbating tattoo and Bryan to a move in situation with his boyfriend. In importanter news, Nicholas Sparks, soft focus romance purveyor, opened a school only for white straight Christians in linen and Erin reads Alabama to filth for going too far in the pro-life battle.
Remember how Arnold Palmer killed someone with a golf club once on Twin Peaks? Bryan and Erin do! Plus, who does the Catholic Church think she is to use a morality clause against a lesbian teacher? And, while everyone loves the statue honoring Colonial Side Bitch, there aren’t enough lady statues for pigeons to poop on!
Have you ever had an earth witch on a commune stand across from you and massage herself from her legs to her vagina to her chest without breaking eye contact? Then you and Erin have a ton in common this week. Also, a lesbian teacher was fired from her school for getting pregnant and did you know that women make up less than 10 percent of all statues in the U.S.? Sad but true but dumb.
Would you have sex in clown makeup for $50? No, that’s not the plot of Dolphin Tale 2. It’s an actual bet Bryan made with Erin. Also, Erin gets a performance review from Bryan to see if Fortune Magazine was correct when they reported that women get reviewed very differently than men. Plus, did you know that Caesar was a bottom?
Can we talk about the clown world for a second? We can, and we do. While we’re at it, let’s talk about sex (performed by men in exchange for money). And, it’s time for Erin’s annual performance review! Will Bryan criticize her for qualities that he wouldn’t criticize in men? Probably, considering his thoughts about women doing voice-overs in films. Kabuki!
Move over, Penn & Teller! There’s a new Vegas duo in town! The only difference is that instead of magic, they sing mash-ups like Girl Talk - but so much worse! Plus ESPN wants to talk about Michael Sam, and the fact that he’s just your average football player will NOT deter them from making him into a story. Guest star Kimbra, won’t you soothe us with stories of Emirates Airlines and your aversion to body paint?
Bryan tried Lyft for the first time and he was extremely selfless. He didn’t bother the driver with smiles, conversation, or even eye contact! Also, Bryan discusses a poll that illustrates LGBTs relationship with the church. And did you know? Female entrepreneurs aren’t getting as many financial loans for business because… you guessed it! They’re women. Paris Hilton, please be sure to watch this episode. Erin has a proposal that you simply MUST hear.
It’s time for the bi-annual update on Bryan’s electric bill! And it’s also time to hear about breast feeding women who are getting a lot of shade thrown on them. Also, do you remember when medicine started? Bryan and Erin remember. Well we’ve come a long way, baby. There’s now a pill available that can be used to reduce the risk of HIV infection. And no one could have a problem with that, right? Right?!
Erin is back from a whirlwind trip to Nevada City, and she’s ready to promote her new book: “What I Have to Say as a Divorcée on Cocaine.” Sadly, it appears that Erin’s advice book hasn’t reached everyone - a man was recently fired for using the word “homophone” and Nicki Minaj is still upsetting people by having a butt. At least Bryan’s Nicki Minaj impression is spot-on.
It’s Bryan’s birthday! And Erin got him just what he wanted - a picture of a cat smoking a fake cigarette. Even more shocking than that? Apparently dudes are the ones in charge of picking out your lipstick and your tampons. Plus, Cosmopolitan went equal-opportunity with their crazy sex advice and profile 28 mind-blowing sex positions for lesbians. It’s finally official - everyone has sex. But where is the vulva?