It’s Bryan’s birthday! And Erin got him just what he wanted - a picture of a cat smoking a fake cigarette. Even more shocking than that? Apparently dudes are the ones in charge of picking out your lipstick and your tampons. Plus, Cosmopolitan went equal-opportunity with their crazy sex advice and profile 28 mind-blowing sex positions for lesbians. It’s finally official - everyone has sex. But where is the vulva?
Now gather round children and ye shall hear the story of a bunch of companies that have placed men in charge of making decisions about Maxi pads and nail polish. Because if not men, then who? Women?! Please. Plus Cosmopolitan is getting all equal-opportunity in their articles, including one detailing 28 mind-blowing sex positions for lesbians. Did you ever want to hear Bryan utter the phrase “Rockin’ Rockette” while referring to a sex position? Look no further!
Did you see Dawn of the Planet of the Apes? Erin and Bryan did and we’re not impressed with their lady ape and their zero gay apes. What does impress them? Marvel comics has made Thor a woman! And in the best news ever, the incredible singer-songwriter LP stops by to talk Elvis, yoga farts, whistle the theme song from “Friends,”and sing a song from her new album Forever Not Now, which is out now! You won’t believe her voice!
Let’s talk “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.” Actually - let’s not. Because Bryan and Erin hated it so much that they weep for the future. Where my gay and lady characters at? At least we know there’s one new lady character in this crazy, messed up world: Thor! She’s taking care of business and not listening to the haters. Plus singer-songwriter LP stops by to whistle the theme song from Friends and sing us a song! If you ever wanted to see Erin cry behind a dog, you gotta watch.
Molly, you in danger girl, because Erin and Bryan are coming to see you in Ghost The Musical and they are bringing their judgement glasses, which have been broken in thanks to the Mor-mans and their refusal to let ladies have some power and the insane homophobic rant of soprano Tamar Iveri. Also, Jack and Rachel Antonoff join TSPOD for a foursome romp through Step By Step, Top That, and crashing proms in your 30s. Ditto!
Ghost the Musical is happening, everyone. So take your Advil and start warning your childhood secretaries that you’ll need a ride. At least, that’s how Bryan and Erin will be enjoying it. Plus, famous soprano Tamar Iveri got herself booted from Opera Australia by being homophobic. Luckily, Jack and Rachel Antonoff are on the show to turn the “Shade or No Shade” tables on Bryan and Erin. What a week!